Mortal (Mormon) Man

Navigating Same Gender Attraction

The Power of a Friend

FriendsI am quickly realizing the power of a really great friend.  As I scan through my Facebook profile I have accumulated many friends.  It is exciting to scroll the pages and reflect on our many years of memories and relationships.  However, I can’t help but think of how few of those friends hold my absolute trust.  I can count them on two fingers.

Recently, I made a new friend. He and I share many of the same struggles (and joys) in life.  He loves cheesecake, I struggle understanding why.  We like the same types of music, share the same religious belief and we both have a same sex attraction.  Being able to discuss my struggles and pains has been a blessing in my life.  If you follow my blog you also know that recently, after 10 years of marriage, I finally told my wife about my SSA and associated addictions and struggles.  I feel fortunate to have two incredible support systems in my life.  One is my eternal companion to whom I credit my sanity and devotion to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  The other friend allows me to be empathetic and understood.  Each fulfill a vital role in my experience.

The Church has an incredible Addiction Recovery Program that assist people like you and I.  Key functions of the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) are, among other things: recognize your addiction, confide in a friend, acknowledge your struggles, turn from sin and make restitution for your actions.  A good friend, who understands your struggle, is crucial.  For years I bottled the feelings of same sex attraction inside of me.  I never told another person about my SSA. It was really difficult.  Who could I ever trust with such a sensitive and profound part of my life?  As I look over my social media friends I am glad to have at least one who knows who I really am.  There is daily growth that comes from such a friendship.  I need to heal.  Although I fought to maintain a life in harmony with the Church, I was spiraling out of control.  You might be in that same pattern.

Some people consider addictions to only be bad habits that can be conquered by willpower alone, but many people become so dependent on a behavior or a substance that they no longer see how to abstain from it. Through Jesus Christ and His Atonement, you can recover and enjoy all the blessings of the gospel.  -LDS Addiction Recovery

It is my hope that you find someone you can confide in.  A trusted friend, spouse, fiancé, bishop or an ecclesiastical leader are each incredible options.  Fighting the addictions associated with same sex attractions alone will leave you powerless.  With the help of a trusted friend, you become powerful.

Be powerful.




  1. I really like this! I am so glad to have a friend that can relate to my needs.

  2. Thank you for posting this. I know this is a tough road, ive been fighting it for a long time. Maybe one day I can express my burdens with someone I can trust.

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